So that was fun. #maddecent
So that was fun. #maddecent
So Joel bought me & baby Heron a car. Her name is Melody. She is flawless.
Sleep tight, hunty.
what if u had an identical twin that did porn and u like went to the grocery and theyre like “omg i saw u take 3 dicks at once while wearing a turtle costume” and ur like “god dammit gary”
this guy was watching the vmas with me and now he’s educating himself how precious is that
he keeps asking me all these questions about aspects of feminism and he’s like “so basically it’s about letting women do what they want without being judged for it” and I was like yea and he was like “oh okay that’s so simple why isn’t everyone a feminist” it’s precious
update: I banged him
wat. that was a very big plot twist please give details
singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth
then it just becomes a soap opera
there’s this drug dealer around my city somewhere and apparently he asks for your ID so you can prove that you’re 18 before he sells you drugs as if that somehow makes it less illegal
I respect that.
*accidentally gives everyone in the row a lap dance while getting up to go to the washroom at the movie theatre*
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT ACTUALLY
THIS MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY
he was 100% against preaching to unwilling people, too, and all for bringing religion into the lives of those who wanted it. he would often say that those who pray loudly in front of others were the worst kind of believers
what a cool dude
it makes me sad when people mischaracterize jesus like he was literally the nicest dude ever like he could be anyones bff if he tried because he was so rad like
i hate christians who make him seem rude like lol no stopv
YES YES YES.
this is because the pharisees would go out into public, get on their knees, and pray where everyone could see them.
because they wanted everyone to see how good they were and how pious, because they were sort of religious authority.
but jesus came and told people to do the opposite, because he wanted them to be humble.
because God wants you to be devoted to a relationship with Him, not to be devoted to making sure others think highly of you.
jesus also encouraged people to do good deeds quietly, or even anonymously.
because he wanted you to do good deeds for the sake of others, not for how good it’ll make you feel or for others to praise you.
jesus was the absolute coolest and i fucking hate it when anyone points fingers at a certain group of people and says “GOD HATES-” NO HE DOESN’T.
THAT WAS HIS WHOLE THING. HE LITERALLY LOVED EVERYONE. ????
This is the type of Christianity and Christians that I like.
damn my friends are talented
i mean they are giant nerds
but damn talented nerds
why is underwear so expensive like wtf its a sheet of fabric that covers ur dinky doo
one time my religion teacher who has a monobrow asked me “what the hell did you do to your hair?” because i had a blonde streak through it and i said “what the hell did you do to your eyebrow” and he sent me outside
when i came back in he asked everyone what monotheism was and i said it meant a religion that worshiped one god because mono means one as in monobrow and he sent me out again
ICYMI: All your friends on the Internet are freaking out over a pop-up Friends-style Central Perk coffee shop in downtown Manhattan. That’s right, you can even sit on the orange couch from the show and take in a performance of “Smelly Cat.”
No word yet on a tour of the apartment
because you can’t find an apartment that large in the West Village.
Read the exclusive on EW.com. -EL
do you ever get really motivated to do something and you get really excited about it and then when you get home you’re just like nah
i wonder what its like to be attractive enough to have random people have crushes on you